Twitter suspended the account of President-elect Donald Trump late Tuesday evening in an effort to stave off *World War 3*. A Twitter spokesperson stated: > Twitter prefers a world in which we are all alive, thus it is with deep regret that we have chosen to suspend the President-elect's account, *@realDonaldTrump*, due to his continued harassment of political leaders worldwide. The decision by Twitter comes after President-elect Trump unleashed a tirade of insults directed toward various foreign heads of state, followed by threats of nuclear action once he takes office. No one knows exactly what sparked the increase in his offensive Twitter activity, but it is speculated that an insult from Russian President Vladimir Putin during a phone conversation left Mr. Trump unhinged. Shortly after their conversation Trump tweeted:

When questioned about what may have caused the out-lash from Mr. Trump, President Putin responded: > I simply ask him if he prefer marionette or hand puppet. I suggest hand puppet. After lashing out at Putin, Trump went on the offensive and began insulting heads of state in an incoherent manner, the likes of which only Trump is capable.

News of Trump's Twitter storm resulted in heightened military tensions world-wide as ally and enemy countries alike began preparing for a President Trump. Jack Dorsey, the CEO of Twitter, left a statement before shutting down Mr. Trump's account on Tuesday: > War is looking imminent. We have no choice. This maniac must be stopped. My deepest apologies for letting this go on for so long.

Twitter-less Trump disappeared for several hours after receiving the Twitter ban. He only re-emerged after he was able to establish his presence on a new social network called Steemit, which rewards its users with cryptocurrency called Steem. At first Steemit users objected to the presence of Mr. Trump on the platform. Each time he threatened nuclear war the community flagged his post to decrease its visibility, but the President-elect did not take kindly to this form of attack. In response Mr. Trump purchased all available Steem at market price to become the largest stakeholder in the platform, *thus making him immune to censorship*. Consequently the price of Steem has increased nearly 10,000% and President-elect Trump has found a new megaphone to continue his assault on all things decent.