![1000434110.jpg](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmP3SK1RzMryZDkxFsMYoKDSP6mAFyCg5USyKTT5PDvZP7/1000434110.jpg)[Pixabay](https://pixabay.com/illustrations/love-romantic-couple-happy-romance-5106875/)

The Concept "SPEC" and its Roles in a Relationship

| |- The very word "SPEC" though been an unfrequently used word, it is commonly used in casual conversations, especially an individual is discussing about relationships or his or her personal preferences. The word "Spec" is a short way of saying specifications and specifications is simply the synonym of features or characteristics etc. In relationship issues, the word Spec refers to those features, qualities, characteristics, and properties that ones desire from his or her partner and this qualities could be both physical such as heights, complexion, body size, hair style, legs structure etc and non physical properties such as emotional, spiritual, intellectual or behavior etc Specifically, An individual Spec could be someone who is highly spiritually, ambitious coupled with a good sense of humor while another's person spec could be a tall, brown skin slim lady. As our faces are different, so are our Specs different thought chances are possible that two individuals may have almost the same spec.

What Qualities Must My Spec Possess?

| |- Though, I admit to the fact that personal preference is an unstable phenomenon. However, they are certain qualities I believe if an individual should posses she is few steps from winning my heart and among them include; ![1000434118.jpg](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmVaoV6j27JNjPumA8Zhjd7H9y5QBQ7eJT5KiVQHBni2pY/1000434118.jpg)[Pixabay](https://pixabay.com/photos/couple-pedestrian-rain-raining-4602505/) Strong moral and Ethical Values | Intelligence and a growth mindset | --|--| Emotional Maturity and Stability| A deep sense of commitment| --|--| Sense of Humor and Compatibility| A bit Tall, fair and a d slightly chubby😌 --|--| **Strong Moral and Ethical Values:** In my own opinion, I do not not really care about the looks of an individual. Rather, I look at the character first so as to avoid signing into an endless problem. With this, my Spec must be someone who is honest to her prime, Kind, disciplined, humble and one who has respect for others irrespective of their gender, status and tribe. **Intelligence and Growth mindset:** Research reveals that the children tends to be as intelligent as their mother. With this, my Spec must be someone who is endowed with Intelligence. In addition to being intelligent, she must as well be someone who is always ready to learn new skills so as to enhance and update her intelligence. **Emotional Maturity and Stability:** This happens to be one of the greatest qualities my Spec must possess. She must one someone who can manage difficult situations, handle issues of emotions well, resolve our conflicts maturely. Not just our conflicts, but all other conflicts she is involved. My test for stability is a function of my country's presence economy. So for someone to meet the criteria of being my Spec, she must be financially stable to some extent so as to make her be a supportive partner. **Deep Sense of Commitment** This has to do with my partner being loyal and reliable. Reliable here is a function of faithfulness and not someone who keeps "Bestie" "Brothers" "Son" who in a real sense are practicing intimacy. **A Deep Sense of Humor and Compatibility:** in this case, I submit to the fact that life may likely present challenging and regrettable moments where it seems all hope is gone. During this time having someone who will make me laugh out my sorrow is the key. As such, my Spec must be someone who I can genuinely spend times with without getting bored or tired.

Should People Wait for Their Spec Before Getting Into a Relationship or Marriage?

| |- I must admit that this happens to be one of the trickiest questions I will be attempting since the beginning of this year. This is true because, while have and ideal spec is important, but waiting indefinitely for an "un-guaranteed perfect match" is not advisable either. I know of a woman who told me that at her 59s, she was still hoping for an ideal man. Anyways, this is a personal issue that no one should impose on the other. However, I would suggest that rather than waiting till infinity, I recommend that everyone should always settle with someone who meets with their core and vital values because finding ***The Mr Right*** may be a lifetime process. So settling with someone who meets core values like compatibility, mutual respect, shared vision, and physical appearance is far important than expected someone with a whole list of attributes. Importantly, it is wise to remember that love grows even in places no one expects. As such an incomplete Spec may become a Complete spec instead of embarking on a Life time journey of waiting.

What If My Spec Doesn’t Love Me Back?

| |- This question took me back olden days where I saw my Spec who saw me like a total stranger. The truth is that I wasn't her Spec though she was my spec. From my experience, An unrequited love is one of the most traumatic and difficult feelings associated with Love. Personally, I would advice that if someone you admire does not have any interest on you many things are always there as solutions. Among these options include; ![1000434117.jpg](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmPEud1dFwrCsYDJgHysaW4QVioCWx4RBSs4HfgcTbvChL/1000434117.jpg)[Pixabay](https://pixabay.com/photos/lover-adult-bedroom-unhappy-bed-1822498/) Accepting Defeat and moving on| Self Improvement| Being open to Someone else etc | --|--|--| **Accepting Defeat and moving on:** The first option is to accept it the way it is an move on with life having it in mind that if it was to be yours, definitely nothing will change it. This option is essential as we can't force love and even if we should force love, we must continue to force it sustainability and that's difficult. In situations where you can't let go,then try the second option. **Self-Improvement:** This is a function of working on yourself because, sometimes, we admire certain qualities in others and wish them to be ours even when we do not have any characteristics that would attract them to us. In essence, instead of dwelling in rejection, I feel that developing oneself to a sought after guy would be of great help. **Be open to Someone Else:** It is true that the world is a very vast place and love could show up from the least expected direction, places and moment. With this, just because one person does not accept you does not mean that there no one looking for a way to approach you. So being open to Someone Else is as well a good way to strike.

Conclusions

| |- After all have been said, In my opinion, I strongly believe that having a Spec is essential but at the same time relationship and love issues goes beyond having a concretize checklist. Rather, it should be a building and evolving process which is built upon understanding, mutual efforts, contributive respect with people we know or do not know. Permit me to invite @nsijoro, @ruthjoe and my Spec @alexander to join the contest.

THANKS SO MUCH FOR READING

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