![pexels-ron-lach-9870138.jpg](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmSzXDpp4FtrnbyhR5rzzqCkiVbcaaH6ioZYvbnnWiTpwx/pexels-ron-lach-9870138.jpg) _{[Photo Credit](https://www.pexels.com/photo/a-woman-in-white-dress-shirt-reading-a-document-9870138/)} *** ## Salut! How is your day going? I had a lovely day which was hectic and fun at the same time. Do you know what makes it even more exciting? It is the awareness that I am about to pen down my thought on a very controversial topic which is rarely discussed by many but one that affects the lives of a majority. Today I will discuss the following: 🔹What adoption is 🔹The main issues an adopted child faces 🔹The legal implications(for example rights) of adoption 🔹How adoption is viewed in my city, town or local community 🔹How I view adoption 🔹Most importantly, I will suggest ways to handle the challenges of adoption. I know you will like to find out if I can recommend it. Grab a bottle of water to keep yourself hydrated while I feed your brain with pure truths. Adoption is the act of voluntarily taking a child of other parents legally as your child. Simply put, it is the act of taking full responsibility for a child that is not yours biologically. People adopt children for several reasons. They include: 🔹Sterility 🔹The lack of a specific gender 🔹The need for an heir or someone to hand over a family's inheritance to. 🔹For singletons, it could be the love of children 🔹A new marriage to a spouse who already had children 🔹The demise of a child's parent[s] etc. Persons who hope to adopt children need to follow the right procedure which is to apply to the ministry of women affairs and social welfare. After the due process which usually lasts for one year and six months or longer depending on some circumstances, they can fully take responsibility for the child[ren]. The earlier phase of adoption is usually filled with fear and apprehension for both the foundling and the soon-to-be parents. Questions like these run through the minds of the would-be parent[s]: “Will the child love me when they know that we are not biologically related?”, “Will I be a perfect parent?”, “Will the biological parents want to start up chaos in future?”, “Am I picking the right child?”, “Will my family love and welcome this child the same way I love him/her?”, “What if... what if...” and the worries go on and on. If the child is old enough to understand what is happening the mind will be wondering “Who is this new parent”, “Why did they choose me? Why wasn't Chioma chosen?”, “Am I that special?”, “What if I am not good enough?”, “Will they treat me right?”, “Are they ready to cater for all my needs?”, “Will I fail them?” All these thoughts are quite normal based on the fears society has about adoption. ## What are the main issues an adopted child faces? ![IekcNfo8T8mpHDX6PG_JKw_7bbfe9e1b6744940bf6e058de288e0be_line-y-1-.png](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmZUZMo8PM1JHWvgz2kM9uthEmUXvx7AtY6qi94WbhzV7q/IekcNfo8T8mpHDX6PG_JKw_7bbfe9e1b6744940bf6e058de288e0be_line-y-1-.png)

![20220723_200157.jpg](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmS88BXhk27gSmY8sctxCc9D2o9EcEtSgoamyrCLfch5CX/20220723_200157.jpg) _{A screenshot of my Facebook Newsfeed}

It is believed that a foster child can never replace a biological child. So this raises the issue of acceptance. **An adopted child faces the fear of being neglected, stigmatized and sometimes ostracized by the “real” members of the family**. Most people who adopt children may do it in a bid to cajole God to look down on the predicament and send them their children. It is like the spiritual belief that says “give and it shall be given into you.” The very moment they are granted their heart desires, the child becomes an afterthought and is treated like a second-class family member. To make matters worse, people who are aware of the status quo remind the child that they are not a part of their new family and should seek to reunite with their roots. Sometimes, they are molested sexually by other family members since that is believed not to be incest. Despite the love showered on the child, [s]he may still have the fear of the uncertain and if the child were like me, they will keep wondering how long the love will last before it fades away. However, this is nothing to worry about since the statutory law protects both parents and fostered children. Once every documentation and legal process is completed, the union becomes official, hence, the child is entitled to all the rights the biological child would have had. You might be wondering, “since this act is legal, is it widely accepted in my city, town or local community?”

![20220723_200237.jpg](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmSsQSm9Ln9qztb7iPgxQ48Bg5iKQwnZ8MWp9fcsdsswcT/20220723_200237.jpg) _{A screenshot of my Facebook Newsfeed}

The answer is a NO and a half. The popular belief is that one can bring in a child with “bad blood” and this can result in unforeseen doom. However, this is not valid because a child is a product of his/her environment and not their roots. To me, I view adoption as a unique way of giving foundlings the right love and care they deserve and if I have my way I would adopt every one of them. This is because I believe that people who make up a family must not necessarily be related by blood. The institution of marriage is a perfect example. **Here are some tips for handling the challenges that come with adoption** The problem arises when much is expected from a fostered child. These high standards are usually unrealistic and when the child makes a similar mistake any other child would have made, they are condemned and considered ungrateful. **To the parents:** * Keep loving and remember that love is patient, kind and forgiving. * Help the child get better in all aspects of their lives physically, socially and otherwise. * Remind your family members or anyone that tries to talk you down or put the child in an uncomfortable spot that they need to learn to respect your decisions. * Kill the I-Did-You-A-Favour Mentality * Destroy the belief that village people are after an innocent child. It is impossicant. **To the Child** * Embrace the love you are shown * Accept yourself and the new family. * Speak to your parent or specialist when need be. ## Final Thoughts Life as an adopted child has been a beautiful one and not unpleasant as seen by society. The primary thing both parents and fostered child should remember is that love is given freely and not conditional.