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Anytime I see headlines such as

'Snake swallow millions of naira' or 'Monkeys ate even more millions of naira',

I feel my heart breaking into smaller pieces.You know there are times I wonder if there will ever be an end to this madness that we have decided to wallow in.

I took a break from social media because I discovered that there is hardly any of my posts that isn't a rant.If you were in my shoes, you will probably feel the same way too. It is so hard trying to keep having faith in a country that seems predestined to fail.

There is still a lot of poverty and the quest for survival has made brothers rise against brothers.A misinformed sense of survival has made fathers sell their sons. It is so hard to overlook the lack that has made a daughter's flesh tasty to her mother.

Can you see that this isn't working?

The blogs carry the news and we sometimes laugh at some of the ridiculous headlines. How possible is it that gigantic billboards would be installed in major parts of the country congratulating the President's son on his quick recovery by the 'Children of Nigeria' but it is happening and it wouldn't end by us wishing it away.

Hundreds of thousands have become displaced and the ones left in charge of them have suddenly found ways of becoming richer by selling aid materials.
It is sickening how we are able to joke about our lack and how privileged we feel when we are able to access some of the most basic things in life.

How can a Local government Chairman commission a communal well as one of his major achievements?

Election is almost here and our mothers will line up by the side of the streets spreading their threadbare wrappers for the 'so called leaders' They will sing songs befitting of kings and they will say prayers just to be thrown crumbs.

Perhaps God may answer their prayers one day and one of their own may be the one in one of those gigantic black cars with law enforcement agents enough to man an entire city.

It is what most of us have learned to aspire to. However, when we get the opportunity to right the wrongs of the past, we are most likely going to be overcome by the fright that lack might come knocking on our door again and so we will also loot the treasury of millions of people.It is frightfully an unbreakable train.

I Have seen this same script being played again and again.

It is hard to accept that there may not be any good one left in the land.

I do ask myself how these leaders sleep at night?I bet in their inner minds they secretly hold the truth that indeed they are diseased because there is no other way they can explain the moneys they loot and keep in foreign banks that they cant keep track off.

How can they possibly explain the deals they sign with foreign countries to enslave the people they have been chosen to guide and guard?

It isn't supposed to be possible that someone can stay deaf to the voice of reason and remain committed to enjoying baths filled with bloody bubbles of lives lost as a result of poor decisions.It really feels like it is a disease of the brain, the kind that seem incurable and it is spreading fast.
In the years before now, I had lots of hope in the redemption of this land but the recent events have done nothing but break my heart into even smaller fragments.I am scared if I stay on that there wouldn't be more of me remaining. I may have to leave for a faraway land because home doesn't feel like home.

Image via dw.com