## Wait what? There is murder involved in this? This is too intense... *Have I mentioned to you that I am a tiny, tiny female who doesn't necessarily have her wits about her just about now? Lost, confused and dazed, I can't even begin to fathom any of this. So begins Part 5... **"What is Going on Here?**"* ![mesad.jpg](https://steemitimages.com/DQmWUEWD1pVekqRPyBd5VM8pHvfK7V7VFnwXHe3GiYbq8hX/mesad.jpg) https://steemitimages.com/DQmeXK5TEWwcFKJRAVKxuBwpFiePeSy5rSeJWbsVNxrpGco/5.gif If you've yet to read the series, here is [Part 1](https://steemit.com/life/@heart-to-heart/confessions-of-a-vagabond-pt-3-that-time-i-ended-up-working-for-a-drug-runner-in-dominican) Trying to make sense of everything going wrong in [Part 2](https://steemit.com/life/@heart-to-heart/more-confessions-that-time-i-ended-up-working-for-a-drug-runner-in-dominican-pt-2---the-plot-thickens--1500225290-5096684) My confusion and panic in [Part 3](https://steemit.com/life/@heart-to-heart/more-confessions-that-time-i-ended-up-working-for-a-drug-runner-in-dominican-pt-3---you-cannot-keep-doing-this--1500388306-7209873) My favourite, the reveal of the terrifying secret [Part 4.](https://steemit.com/life/@heart-to-heart/secret-confessions-that-time-i-ended-up-working-for-a-drug-runner-pt-4-the-part-youve-all-been-waiting-for--1500545823-4751477) https://steemitimages.com/DQmeXK5TEWwcFKJRAVKxuBwpFiePeSy5rSeJWbsVNxrpGco/5.gif **Confessions of a Vagabond:** The Next Chapter: "Remember the Time I Worked for a Drug Runner in Punta Cana PT 5" A gypsy life bought to you by @heart-to-heart *From January 2014- June 2017 I have been what you would call a vagabond, a nomad, even a gypsy by definition of the words. I had what they all have in common: no fixed home...and no fixed income but the wildest stories.* ____________________________ > “Get her a f**king cold towel or something Emily!” Kyle's eyes were red with fire, his voice carried a horrible harshness that ricocheted off the walls and felt like a slap in the face. When the sound hit her ears, Emily popped up and did this squirrelly half-hunched over looking attempt to find something within arms length. Her eyes searched around anxiously... failing, she dropped down on her hands and knees and began scattering around on the floor presumably looking for a towel for me. My eyes were wedged so far back into my forehead now that it was actually paining my eyelids. I felt like if they could manage to go any further I would soon end up looking into my brain... that was a gruesome thought. I pleaded with them to resume their normal positions. The heart dancing to EDM at the speed of light was too much to bear. I was whispering to myself to calm down while inside everything was screaming, fearing that my life was about to end. Jeff was still out on the patio I guess, somewhere out of my view and mind. Where the hell was Adam? I thought he was going to be there for me… I thought he would protect me by being here. [Stupid Kat.](https://steemit.com/life/@heart-to-heart/more-confessions-exposing-my-inner-demons-the-part-i-never-thought-i-d-share-pt-4-5) she got me into this mess…her and her insatiable quest to live life on the edge. I'm just fine with dangling my feet but she loves leaning over, testing limits, boundaries, safety... ### She got me here but how am I going to get out of this now? I have never yearned like that before, been so lustfully captivated by something… my body was convulsing, begging me to give it more. Sweat was dripping from every one of my pores, my clothes were drenched in my own desire. >“What did he just say?” “What did he just say?” “What did he just say?” I kept asking myself over and over on repeat in my head trying to make any sense of what I had just heard but it was impossible to think of anything more than the swirling desire for more which was enchanting my body and mind. Looking back on the events happing in this room, the characters involved and my feelings at the time is a trip. My mind can hardly process any of this. You have 5 adults all sorts of messed up with a baby sleeping in a bed with a pitbull in the next room. Insanity. I couldn’t do anything but lie there with my head back and pray. For this reason exactly is why I never found my way into drugs, why I always stayed clear, why I would only allow Kat to play with alcohol…(not that it was much better in hindsight to be fair.) The door swung open, creaking wildly as James busted through the frame with the biggest eyes I had ever seen. > “Guys I got the good sh*t. It’s like the purest grade you’ll ever have ever. You gotta do it. You all gotta do it.” Em was visibly shaking, she got up from the ground she had been sitting on, unable to find a towel and took a bag from Jame’s hand. She walked into the bathroom and it seemed like she was gone for a long time before she came back with a $100 bill rolled up in one hand and the bag in another. She poured some of the powder into her palm and stumbled over to the couch where I was laying. > “Baby, listen to me, I want to make you better…” She was now hovering her hand over my face. > “I promise this will make it all stop…” She continued to settle herself in beside me, until she ended up straddling me and now was gently caressing my cheeks with her free hand. > “Remember, trust me.” Then she stuck the bill to my nose, placing the end of it over her hand and said >“Breathe in deep.” Unicorns, butterflies and leprechauns danced across mountains of chocolate with rivers of rum and sands of icecream. I was lost, there was no way out, I had died. Nothing else could explain what I was feeling or seeing. I was blissfully terrified, happily haunted, losing my mind. _____________________________________________ [![trippy dream.jfif](https://steemitimages.com/DQmbzktiJAjx6CCuiW34qE6rbi5K9oYXJWAM7DizPozFkyS/trippy%20dream.jfif)](http://www.ashtarcommandcrew.net/forum/topics/i-had-big-strange-deep-dream-with-ben-arion-involved?xg_source=activity) _________________________________________________ The next night, it was already dark when I opened my eyes to a knock on my door. Waking up, not only did I legitimately feel like I needed to be hospitalized, I also now questioned everything I knew. >Where was I? What was I doing here? Who are THEY? What are they really doing here? What is wrong with me? The knocking continued until I heard Amy’s high heels click-clack their way to the door. Each time her foot touched the floor it sent a splinter into my temples. “Hola Adam!” she exclaimed excitedly. I could just imagine her flailing her arms around him and doing this kiss you all over the face thing, she had been doing to him the other day. They talked in Spanish for a little bit but then I heard Adam’s footsteps approaching my door. He opened it to me sprawled out like a starfish, doing everything I could just to make air come in and out of my lungs. > “I am dying.” I managed to choke out. > “I think you might be right. What happened last night sweetie?” > “Kat.” I muttered almost inaudibly. >“She’s a real wild fire, her. Well, you need food and orange juice my dear. You know there’s some crazy sh*t happening over there. Let’s try to get you up. Kyle isn't the happiest person right now.” > “I can’t Adam, I can’t lift my head. I need to go home, I need to see a doctor.” > “A doctor isn’t going to do anything for you right now but get you in trouble. Just relax, I’ll get you some water.” I rolled over onto my stomach and tried desperately to will the air into my lungs, just a little bit more so I could comfortably breath… please. > “Adam, you don’t seem surprised by this.” I muttered through the pillow my head was now pushed into. > “About which part?” He started laughing. “This is all part of the world girl, I’m surprised it’s taken you so many years to catch on. You always were too sweet for any of this.” > “Whaddya mean?” I managed to spit out even though my mouth was so dry it felt like I was spitting sandpaper off of my lips. > “I have seen a lot of girls come and go and get into trouble over the years. We party together, we get into some trouble, but you always went home. We all always wanted to go home with you too but we just couldn’t stop ourselves from continuing this way.” > “I don’t know, don’t you need to sleep?” I didn’t know what he was talking about and he was annoying me with his not taking me to the emergency room. > “Not on that stuff you don’t.” He laughed then leaned into me and put the glass of water to my mouth. > “Let’s just stay in tonight, we’ll go get some food, catch up, maybe watch a documentary.” He actually suggested watching a documentary in this conversation… I thought he was batsh*t nuts, because in my mind we were already in one. It was a long struggle and resulted in a good deal of pain for me, but we got me up, dressed and ready to go to get food. We didn’t make it far down the street in fact we stopped at the first restaurant we came to and sat down there. I couldn’t imagine eating anything but Adam convinced me it was what I needed to feel better so I got some fried rice. I had this weird feeling going on inside of me. I couldn’t make out what had been real and what I might have imagined. I was scared to voice my thoughts because it was clear Adam was one of them… and very likely on their side. > “You must be wondering about last night.” He leaned in towards me, looked me dead in the eyes and whispered… > “It’s ok, it’s the good sh*t, it’s not sliced.” Translation in brain, hello! I need that to be processed. What does that even mean? > “I don’t know your words.” I could barely make words translate from brain to mouth myself let alone decode his new lingo he was spitting out at me. > “I mean, there’s no chemicals, you’ll be fine, I’m not worried about you. It’s so pure, it’s the best stuff I have ever had. I can’t believe they get that off the boats.” I had my head down on the table, mouth pushed out to the side, completely aware of the other customer’s gazes… > “What boat?” Just then the waiter showed up with a frothy green drink that made my stomach flip to even look at it. > “You should drink this. It’s a cucumber, celery, spinach smoothie. I think you’ll feel better if you get it into you.” > “Can’t… can’t lift head.” Now we had the server looking for a straw for us and Adam on the other side of me trying to funnel the green sludge into the tube connected to my mouth. As soon as it touched my tongue, my instinct was to spit fire. > “I’m not drinking that or anything else. Did I tell you I got drugged when I got here?” Adam looked at me seriously for a half a second then started laughing. > “You're so cute! You must have some people who like you! That’s like... like a compliment!” > … “Hardly.” I spat out. > “No seriously, it’s kind of a welcoming thing here. Where did you go, do you remember? I want to go.” >“I’ll take you next time.” I said sarcastically, rolling my eyes into my head... they'd been spending a lot of time back there. > “Oh honey, lighten up. It’s organic. It’s no problem. You should just drink this.” > “What boat Adam?” Adam looked at me somewhat sheepishly but with a quick glance around the room, his charming smile came back and he leaned in close again. > “OK, I will tell you about the boat if you drink this whole thing.” I started sucking back as hard and fast as I could. It was resisting going in because my breath was shallow and throat dry. Once I took in as much as I could, I propped my head up on my hand and looked Adam in the face and did my best attempt at batting my eyes. > “What boat?” > “Well, there’s these guys who work for us...” He was still clearly keeping an eye on the surroundings, I guess in all fairness we were not even a block away from the apartment and the restaurant had our fliers posted in their windows meaning a very possible chance of an exchange with Kyle at any time. > “Work for us? What do you work for them too?” > “Of course I do! I gave them a recommendation for you when I heard they were talking to you! Didn't they tell you?” I smacked myself in the head. I asked Kyle and he lied to me! > “They haven't told me much of anything Adam and I am pretty pissed about it. It's been one lie after another and I'm not getting what I was promised when I came down here, I’m losing my mind and I want to know about the damn boat!” I sort of slammed my hand from my head onto the table which caused the glasses to shake and people to stare (*as if they weren't already*)... it was bad enough we were the only tourists in the restaurant but we both looked like hell and I could tell we were causing a scene. > “It’s not a big thing, it’s just that our guys do a loop around the waters and pick this up for us from South America. It’s like an underwater trade.” I just looked at him flat faced moving my dishes from in front of me so I could lean over closer into his face. > “They leave us a buoy out there so we know where they left it, then they go out to it, pull it up, get it and bring it back. That’s how we know it’s not cut, we get it straight from the growers and then we distribute it around ourselves.” I'm not that into thrillers or murder mysteries so I was lacking any background knowledge of this kind of thing but I didn't like the sounds of it one bit. > “I want to go home, now.” Adam looked at me with furrowed brows and sighed as he reached across to touch my arm. > “No you don’t, don’t be stupid. Once this bar opens up the money you will see in there from this business is going to be unreal! That’s why I wanted you to have this job, you could leave with more cash then you can carry after the season is over.” My bank account really needed the money but my heart was telling me to get out of there. My hands started shaking and my heart started beating so hard my ribcage began hurting. > "You didn't put anything in my drink, did you Adam?" His face quickly turned serious. > "No, I thought you could use a break. Are you OK?" I couldn't answer him, I became paralyzed with anxiety, everything was swirling in and out of focus and my body felt like it was on fire. I tried to open my mouth but nothing would come out... panic attack had struck. Adam carried me over his shoulder back to my room and put me to bed. __________________________________________________________ This was all too much to try to make sense of. Boats, packages, buoys... wt* was I getting into? Too bad my brain wasn't working what with all the help I had been given... Adam may be part of their team but he's still been close to me for 3 years, keep on following this story to find out more about these boats, our new friend Chris's story and whether or not I join them or leave them. Until next time, XO, 💜 ![vegabondcovereditnew.jpg](https://steemitimages.com/DQmSSxWx3XyrSpW8sphewzDTvPRhrqmFGydLpb8EKZRVAqe/vegabondcovereditnew.jpg) [![hearttoheart signature.png](https://steemitimages.com/DQmbrCAcXHHXAH1PdznaAe1dcTwFQ2PDs9SyQqqZMA8Y42o/hearttoheart%20signature.png)](steemit.com/@heart-to-heart)