Hi Steemit friends,

Today's topic is about CREATING self control and self discipline.

So many people go through life, working a job that they would describe as a little bit crap, but mostly just "OK", and pays "OK". Have an "OK" lifestyle, and have a bit of fun here and there. But feel like theres something missing. Something that theyve always wanted, but couldn't quite get there. The biggest reason for this is that people are driven mostly by their cravings, urges, pain, pleasure. But what you may not realise is that, most of these things are ultimately controlling your life.

Here are some common examples:

Have you ever felt as if all you ever do is feed your cravings and succumb to your urges? Do you find yourself making excuses such as "I cant do that because I don't enjoy it" or "I don't feel like it?". Or "I don't have time to do it". Are you overweight and always say to yourself "I'll go to the gym next week" Well I can safely say that we have all experienced some of these common situations and more. But the thing is you don't have to be like this. You can teach yourself to thrive and flourish, not matter what must be done. Its all in the mind. Let me explain:

The Victim Mindset and why you must get rid of it immediately:

There are endless things to complain about in life. All you have to do is look at your facebook feed, or think about everyone you know, their problems, their shortfalls, or the things you want but don't have.

The Victim mindset is where someone feels as if they are a victim of something, someone, or some circumstance. Even though it may have been out of their control, the problem with that mindset is that you are assuming that you are not holding the power, and someone or something else is. The key to self control, and self discipline is is knowing that YOU ARE IN FULL CONTROL. Not necessarily of what happens, but 100% in control of how YOU DECIDE to act and feel, and what perspective you will choose to see it from. You ALWAYS have a CHOICE, so make the choice consciously, and not unconsciously.

Bad habits live in your subconscious mind..along with good ones:

Both good and bad habits live in your subconscious mind. Your subconscious mind is a place for storeing memories, and also behaviours that you have either consciously developed, or reactively developed through experiences. The subconscious is a powerful part of your mind. Hypnotists refer to it as "THE BOSS". Because it literally runs commands (habits) all day, automating most peoples lives. Have you ever been doing something without really thinking about it, and thought it was just 10 minutes that past, and realised it was an hour that past? well thats your subconscious mind at work. It automates our lives to serve us. If used correctly, your subconscious mind can be your most powerful ally. This is why its very important to create good habits.

So how do you rid yourself of old habits, and replace them with good ones?

Well I'm glad you asked, because this is crucial. The way to remove bad habits, is to MAKE "CONSCIOUS" DECISIONS, as opposed to habit driven unconscious decisions. So no matter what you need to do, or what happens, don't allow your automated response to take over. YOUR in the drivers seat. so drive. its your call. your the boss. make the right decision, and stick to it. They say it takes 3 weeks to 2 months to remove a bad habit. So be patient with yourself, and be persistent. The more conscious decisions you make, the more you train your mind who the boss is.

say no A LOT!!

One of the best things you can practice, is to practice saying no A LOT. I when I say practice, I mean literally rehearse in your mind, saying no to all of the things that you dont want in your life. It might be your urges, cravings for food, alcohol, cigarettes, a person, a TV show, computer games, being lazy, etc. Whatever it is, imagine that craving, urge, person, etc popping up, and then you saying no to it. Dont just imagine say no in some whimpy weak manner. do it while feeling certainty and power and confidence. Its not good enough to imagine it. You must also FEEL IT. Do it 50 times, and each time do it with even more energy.I bet you that after that you'll find it much easier than you thought to say no. The reason why you must incorporate both your body, and emotion and your mind is that they are all connected. Your subconscious mind is actually activated through emotion. the more intense the emotion, the more entrained it becomes in your subconscious. And this will ultimately join the other unconscious decisions that you make in life, except these will be the good automated decisions.

Have cold showers every morning

Having a cold shower in the morning does not sound like something anyone would do, but theres a good reason for it. Believe it or not, having a cold shower actually helps our bodies stimulate white blood cells, which boosts your immune system. So ironically, exposeing yourself to cold water briefly, actually stops you from getting sick (who would have thought). But the other benefits is that it massively stimulates your brain. SO its great for wakeing up in the morning if you want to jolt yourself into being mentally attuned and alert. And the benefit relevant to this conversation is that YOUR TEACHING your BODY who the boss is. your body is going to say "no dont do it, its going to suck real bad, you'll see". Turn on that cold tap, get in the shower, your teaching your body to do whatever you command, whether it "Feels" Like it or not. And what you will find is that over a week or so, having a cold shower will actually be easy to do.

Have some goals in life

Having even just 1 or 2 simple but meaningful goals in life will automatically shift your focus. Having goals in life will also give you a sense of purpose. Somewhere, something, someone that you can positively invest your time and energy into, instead of just scattering and wasteing time and energy all over the place. It will teach you the habit of being outcome focused.

Be "OUTCOME" focused, and not process focused:

So what does that mean? Well really, what you focus on, and how you focus on it is very important. If you focus on all the little things that need to be done to complete an objective, its less likely that you will end up completing it. But if you focus on and prioritise achieving an outcome, all the little things that you need to do in order to achieve that outcome will be easy to do. If you couple an outcome orientated mind, with a purpose, or many reasons to obtain that outcome, now you will be unstoppable. nothing and nobody will stand in your way.

So to wrap it up, Self control is the most important habit you can master. Every extra bit of self control that you exert makes the next application of self control easier and easier, until IT becomes the most powerful habit that lives in your subconscious mind. If you master this habit you will then be able to do command yourself to do whatever you want. The sky is the limit

And to reiterate, practice and rehearse self control.Don't be reactive and just wait for circumstances to arise, and then have a battle to say no to it. Think of the top 5 or top 10 situations that you want to be AN EXPERT at saying no to with ease and power. and rehearse it. practice practice practice. You'll actually enjoy it, seriously!

I hope this article was of value to you. If it wasn't I apologise.

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Thank you :)