## My day started by being called out on the quality of my posts. The value of my ideas. A fraud. The thing is, I do believe in the quality of my posts but I also have doubts. **Are they really good enough?** -----------------
Now all this snowballed into more and more self-questions. Let me ask you this: Do you feel like a fraud? Do you feel like you don't deserve what you got? Does it gets to you and undermines your confidence? Because, it seems, **I DO!**. Hear me out. I dreamed of having a trending post since I joined Steemit almost a year ago. I've imagined it's a confirmation of my value for Steemit and my writing skill. Making trending could be my "Oscar" on Steemit. I did come close with a few posts but never **quite** there. Then, a couple of days, it happened! My post about the EOS ico was #2 and people seemed to really like it and got a lot out of it. This was reward in itself [ but thanks for the upvotes!!]. I received congratulation messages from a few friends. They liked it too! But upon further introspection, I realized I was not **as happy as I thought I'll be!.** In fact,I was anxious. I was awaiting that comment: **"THIS SUCKS! WHO UPVOTES THIS SHIT?!"** I was waiting for people to expose me for my amateurism and to be called out on...what, exactly? This got me thinking. I started to ask around and talk to people about it and I made two very important discoveries: * **It's a very common felling.** A lot of my successful friends said they feel a lot like they don't deserve their positions, money, recognition from peers. I have this friend who's gonna be featured in a list of most accomplished writers under 40 in my country and yet, he looks at the list and wonders: *WHY am I there?!* I tell him he's crazy and he admits but he can't just shake the feeling... * **It has a name!** Yeap, because it is really that common that it has its own name: **The Impostor Syndrome** There are many definitions and ways to explain this insidious feeling. I say insidious because it's very hard to beat and almost impossible to organically kill. It's not like...someone will tell me that my posts are great and I will be like: Ok, cool, I'm cured now!! So anyway back to the definition: >Impostor syndrome (also known as impostor phenomenon or fraud syndrome or the imposter experience) is a concept describing high-achieving individuals who are marked by an inability to internalize their accomplishments and a persistent fear of being exposed as a "fraud". Damn, this definition hits home :) ![75e3594264d8daa5d657d76d527cdab1.jpg](https://steemitimages.com/DQmVibJ971uqFk7CovZUNGa4ecKuw7LVLSdjsWg7PAY2Wb8/75e3594264d8daa5d657d76d527cdab1.jpg) Everyone might have some experience with this unless you have some ungodly confidence or you are a psychopath or maybe you worked really really really hard to get where you are. I am not sure which one would help the most. The thing is, it's usually more prevalent in people who you'd least expect it ( also more women than men experience it, go figure!). There's even a [quiz] you can take in order to see how affected you are by this. I encourage you to spend 5 minutes and see what you get. ![](https://steemitimages.com/DQmeUsWamDUQ43okHLvCYsXmKyVXP3Ets2EtrEzSKaZpMvn/image.png) Constantly. Every day. Every post. ![](https://steemitimages.com/DQmNfFtyS65KYckjkfZoWygL3FquxfTNmpmTK3EzyGXrdaS/image.png) Steemit. Poker. Writing..... ![](https://steemitimages.com/DQmVFvYL3DnfXww2HRa2XqQnmi2zpAPHgcEZ23iT5bUZzoL/image.png) **Are you sure you wanted toupvote this?!** I mean it's easy to fall in the doubt-trap. It's very hard to get out of though. My results were a very expected: ![](https://steemitimages.com/DQmcojVycTK3pvSRpEXfcLfP69JGkrGG4gnk8VdnVaAnDkH/image.png) ---> Share your result in the comments! Tell me if you think it's accurate and how do you fight this?! <---- So what's the ***CURE***? For me, it's clear that once again, that I need to find it within myself. Still, I have to admit, that external praise helps as well. It help to have someone to encourage you but if you can't believe them, then it's useless, right? I try to remember that I'm always trying one thing: **Do my best, write the best posts I can right now!** I might look back in 2 3 years on this and -hopefully - realize I could have written a better post given all my experiences and skill. Who knows? Will that diminish my effort now, today? I think not. Also I want to try and be kind to myself. Be kind to effort. Remind myself that I do not suck - maybe as bad as I think I do. In a word: Be kind. [ ok, that's two! ]. I can never please everyone. I can never be as good as I want to be. But I can respect the process, always strive to deliver and look for way to be better. That should be enough. And if sometimes I'll feel like an Impostor...then that's the price :) Till next time, r