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We all poo, but most of us probably don't enjoy it as much as the girl above (just kidding, it's chocolate, I promise). The fact is, everyone takes a break during the day to have a potentially pungent poo, and not everyone knows much about it. Today, I'd like to teach you some things about your fragrant, fecal friend. You might learn something, if you're lucky, and have the stomach to finish reading this post!

Let's start with the basics...

The lovely little deposit you just left in the toilet is comprised of mostly water, surprisingly, about 75%. The rest of it is a pungent combination of fibers, both live and dead bacteria, other cells, and a little mucus, for extra flavor. Soluble fibers form most of your gooey substance, but when you consume insoluble fibers like corn, oats, and carrots, they are harder for your body to process, which is sometimes why they emerge from your buttocks somewhat similar to the way they entered your body. (Source)

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Can you smell that deliciously decadent aroma of doo-doo?

Your fecal matter is actually trying to talk to you. Not literally, so please don't pick up the lil fella and stick him in your ear. Rather, your body communicates through your poo. Everyone's bathroom visits stink, but if yours really stinks, and I mean a completely rancid smell, did you know it could be a sign of infection or disease? It could be something as simple as a Giardiasis infection, or something more serious like Crohn's disease, celiac disease, and uclerative colitis. Be vigilant in creating your stanky, if you notice something particularly tasty-smelling, you should visit your doctor. (Source)

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You've been sitting (squatting?) wrong your whole life!

According to a lot of recent studies, the way we've been riding the poo stallion has been wrong, and our ancestors that squatted in bushes to relieve themselves had it right. Sitting on a toilet normally relaxes the anus, and then sudden strain from pushing a log out can actually damage your sensitive behind. Modern dump-taking methods contribute to higher rates of colon and pelvic problems like hemorrhoids and constipation. People that squat "naturally" suffer from these issues less because they don't experience as much strain. Spending too much time on the loo contributes to these negative effects too, so don't sit on the toilet for your whole lunch break!(Source)

To alleviate this, you can either squat on your toilet like the man pictured above if you're flexible and balanced enough, or you can actually buy stools now that wrap around your toilet and elevate your legs to simulate a squatting position.

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What is a healthy poop? They can be healthy?

Most people don't really worry about what their toilet matter looks like (I'll spare you the pictures, I'm sure you'll remeber this the next time you're dropping bombs), but it can actually tell you a lot of things (again, please don't pick it up and try to converse with it). Oftentimes your feces is brown, which comes from red blood cells being processed in your intestines, but you can have green poops as well, if you consume leafy green foods or ones with lots of iron.

A "healthy" poop is light brown in color, long and thick, not watery, but still soft. If your toilet buddies look like this, you're doing well. Congratulations!

Poop can come in a lot of colors due to the things we eat and food dyes, but if you ever have a solid black poop, or one with blood in it, it's time for a doctor visit. This often indicates internal bleeding, which is very serious. Beware the black poop! As always, consult a medical professional if you have concerns about your posterior portions.

A Few Fun Facts about Fecal Friendlies

The U.S. Army encouraged its soldiers to perform the three daily S's, a phrase we are all familiar with! "Shit, shower, and shave!" (Source)
The "Mariko Aoki phenomenon" is the urge to poop when visiting a bookstore, caused by the scent of books that affects some people. (Source)
Some of your toilet droppings float in the water because they have a high gas content, caused when bacteria in your body doesn't get expelled as a gas bubble and lodges in your poop! (Source)

Thanks for reading, especially if you made it through this whole post! For more interesting content, be sure to Follow me @voltarius!