Mays' Funeral Parlour Only a 1 Star Rating! is the message I get from Son no 1.

I am two days into this job and things just got seriously weird.

I am somewhere in the Cotswolds, it’s quite beautiful and the house overlooks a lake home to geese and other wildlife, it’s idyllic. That’s the view outside inside it’s manic.

Mays' Funeral Parlour only a 1 Star Rating!

The agency said I would be helping a patient to recover from a stay in hospital. That’s not the truth at all, I am not surprised the agencies so very seldom tell the truth. They are in the sales business and their only aim is to collect their fees. They make me so angry, there are some good ones but in the main they are rogues. The only winner themselves. The client and the Carer be damned.

My client is delivered via ambulance home together with a syringe driver. She does not eat and has not eaten in some weeks, she is bones and skin. So small so fragile, my heart breaks for her.

Her sons tell me she is impossible, they are frustrated and upset, one estranged and not seen his mother in 15 years.

It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to understand that this woman wants to go, it is her time. She wants to go peacefully and on her own terms at home without fuss or mess.

Mays' Funeral Parlour only a 1 Star Rating!

The two of us share private conversations, I warm to her, she is frightened yet determined to go. The doctor visits and increases her morphine, leaving with instructions to keep her hydrated and comfortable. The days pass slowly, I am alone and left in charge of seeing this virtual stranger onto her next destination.

It was not my plan for the week, such is the life of a Carer.

Son 1 visits and is shocked to see his mother so small and so thin. I quietly chat with him, I see his mind struggling to take on board his mother’s impending death, slowly the realisation dawns, a thousand fleeting emotions cross his face. Like a tidal wave crashing on the beach, he is coming out of a fog of years of bad memories.

I feel for him, its hard no matter the relationship, he is still losing a parent. It’s so final.

Mays' Funeral Parlour only a 1 Star Rating!

He leaves a different person, his frustration and anger now a thing of the past as he adapts to his mothers’ dying. I feel for him, this hurt is not something I can repair and all of us have to deal with losing a parent.

I think if he is truthful with himself he will realise that he has known this for some time, but didn’t want to admit it. This is obviously the case as the now discarded care plan instructing me to use the Nutri-bullet to build her strength is plainly a piece of hopeful fiction!!! we are so far past that point and am sure have been for a while.

I am with her constantly, by the third day a night carer is introduced, arriving at 10 pm and leaving at 6 am, this allows me some sleep.

The conditions live-in Carers in the UK are mostly dreadful. We are superhuman, we don’t need sleep, we don’t need company and we have experience of every situation under the sun and yes you only have to pay us a pittance!!

Now that the children are on board with the imminent demise of their parent, things get a little freaky!! Text Message from son:

Mays' Funeral Parlour only a 1 Star rating

Yes that’s right I just crept out from under that rock, I never knew ‘Funeral Parlours’ got ratings!!

How many people do you have to bury to know what’s good and bad?

My mind explodes and I suddenly burst into laughter. Yes I know it’s not appropriate, but the week is mad and this is the first funny thing I hear.He too bursts out laughing and suddenly, life is not so bad.

The acceptance comes more readily. The next day I learn the estranged Son and Son No 1 and wifey will be visiting.

Naturally, I dust off, the ‘Boutique Hotel Sign’ nestled in the bottom of my ‘Carers’ bag. I have upped the fees to ££££’s per person per day, this is a theme boutique establishment currently flying the name ‘The Dying Boutique Hotel’ !!

Estranged son sends a present in advance I open it. It is an Apron!! This woman detests food, hates cooking and certainly won’t need one where she is going!! Is the Son slightly slow? to be established….

It is my last day and new Carer will be taking over, my client is still here and I am a little sad I am not to be with her in her final moments.

I know she is fine and calm and she will make her way slowly, in her own good time. I whisper to her quietly saying my goodbyes and even though I hardly know her, I will miss her and admire her tranquil goodbye to life.

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