It's my visit to the doctor today and don't know when I'll be back again

Source - @cryptopie

I really like to catch some fish here, I can only photograph it.

Source - @cryptopie

I am glad that my brother helped me for getting an appointment to the Hematologist because I did texted the number of the clinic but with no reply while my brother actually messaged the clinic and he got it for me. Had I not got in touch with my brother, then this crucial doctor visitation might not happen today.

I don't know what will happen next but of course I am nervous because terrible things might get discovered in my health or body which I may not recover from. My hemoglobin is high but not all signs are there like the itchy skin and my skin is not yellow but I get palpitations and sometimes I feel that it seems that my brain couldn't get enough oxygen, it scares me, who will not be.

I will not be so surprised if bad things are on the closer horizon, all I want to happen is that I will not get a hard time. I know that my plans are long-term which is crazy but at least I already told my brother what to do if I will go away for good. I reckon that even if I have all the riches, if I will not really enjoy life like just enjoying a simple food with good appetite, or going places if I can't walk properly and with pain, and then with this appearance... there is no point of living and then I have to deal with all that for long. But of course if my family will be in the best situation even after I "graduate", it great because it is like my family's hardships will be rewarded.

I want to do more especially for wanting to be a working Christian, I even wanted to start a new hobby, it turns out that pain in my back spoiled it but if God wills it I will still continue what anything I planned to do, there is a bunch of those but my brother will continue it for me, God has mercy. But I will not going to die yet, well maybe, we do not know what the morrow will bring us.